TeXt factor

IT strategists rubbished the notion. Until you write a one-page manual, they scoffed, you don’t stand a chance. They were right.

I remember some of those manuals, too. Sumo-wrestler thick and gym heavy, they were instantly shelved, if you could lift them that high, and shelved they remained. Pristine, unopened and uncared for until they were thrown out or the shelves supporting them eventually collapsed.

And that parallels how it may be with today’s political parties’ manifestos — all published this week. Who reads them? Indeed, how do you even get hold of one? Go to their website, I assume, and download it? Of course. Despite the likelihood of their being the most likely-to-read anything serious like this, I doubt the over-55s age-group will actually bother. Amazing when you think of their voting numbers and accumulated wealth.

So, just as nobody ever read(s) a manual, so nobody will read a political party’s manifesto. Nobody under 55, say, anyway. That’s why the new test of success should be not even be a ‘one-pager’; in the lingua franca of the times it should be but a text message. Get down with the kids, and all that. Especially as we all know that kids don’t read nuffink anyway.

It’s the sort of marketing challenge we face every day. Think about it: you have numerous ideas you need to get across — or in the Conservatives’ case, no actual policies to get across; just the invitation to turn up at Westminster on May 7th and start governing.

You also need to get everything communicated quickly and succinctly. Then you need to prevent attention deficit disorder kicking in and keep people from turning the page…or pressing the delete button after ten seconds. A party’s product — its policies — need to be consonant with its brand.

So forget the oldies and text your manifesto!

Here’s an example of how it could be done. It’s easy:

gr8 nuz 4 U. weL git d economy moving ‘gen. UL pA less taxes. mo monE 4 d NHS. We’ll kill d NI incrEs. hlp 4 pensioners & schools.£150 4 married ppl. reduce d national deficit. & we’ll mAk Britain gr8 ‘gen.

There. Dn n dusted.

ROFL

By Neil Cowan
http://blogs.chemistrygroup.co.uk/newbusiness/